Did you watch that episode about pedophilia on Oprah?

Do you ever feel embarrassed for children when they're acting a fool? Like, not toddlers--that's kind of cute, but rather kids aged 8-12 when they think they're being all smart and sassy and all precocious and shit. I feel almost sorry for them, because those kids think they invented those attitudes. But they didn't because I did, of course, when I was that age.

I honestly remember a specific time when I was balancing on a parking curb like a balance beam, singing the theme song to a Frosted Flakes commercial ("Show 'em what you can do! The taste of Kellog's Frosted Flakes brings out the tiger in you. They're grrrrreat!"). My parents were looking at a new house to move us into and I was, apparently, showing them what I could do.

I'm watching Jon and Kate Plus 8 right now, a Christmas episode, where all the kids are caroling, and the older twins are really annoying because they're all hamming it up for the cameras. Those cameras have been there since those girls were 3 and they are now 9, and they still act like it's a fucking pageant. They're gap tooth grins, which are undoubtedly baited by producers who are like they're friggin' godparents by now, really gall me.

I really can't wait to have kids! Mine are gonna be grrrrrreat!

Jon and Kate Plus 8 is good, except when it gets strangely Christian. It's like they try to hide how much their religion dictates their everyday actions, but it squeaks through at strange opportunities. Like when one of the 3-year-old sextuplets recites a biblical verse to Mommy.

The show also is cringe-worthy when the anal-retentiveness of Kate (Mommy) is showcased. For instance, right now in the Christmas episode, Kate has printed out each child's name onto a separate sheet of paper and taped it to a specific (and calculated) spot on the carpet around the living room. This is where the child will sit and open presents!

"It worked wonderfully because they each had their own spot, all their own, which THEY ENJOYED. You say "Go sit on your spot," and half of them were already there."

cute!

This is the real reason I watch the show:

Look how big of a bitch Mady is!




I've stumbled upon a hilarious community of tweenagers who make these compilation videos of the Gosselin sextuplets!

CREEEEEPY! Enjoy!