R&J FTW!

once upon a time, there were these two families that lived in this little town in italy and they were totally not friends. not even awkward acquaintance facebook friends. they hated each other, and whenever they saw each other f2f, they totally fought. they were like rival gangs, but tied together by blood instead of, like, guilt and protection to sell drugs peacefully.

ok so here's the sitch: J belonged to family C and R to M. they totally hooked up... wtf? why would they even think to do this, i dunno. maybe J wanted to piss off her rents, maybe R just wanted to get over that other chick. anyway, the day after they hooked up they got married! craziness! omg, i forgot to say J was only 14 and R was, like, 16. wtf?????

after the wedding, R went to the beach to hang with his boys and ended up almost getting killed by J's cuz, T! shiiiiiiiit! T kills R's bff, M and R got so pissed that he drove his car really fast and shot T for offing M! J's gonna be soooo peeved! that was her cuz, yo!

but instead of being super pissed off at R, she hooked up with him again! omg, and J's rents totally thought she was still going to marry this other douche, P. she totally hated him though and really was into R instead. she went off on her rents, and they slapped her around, mafia-family-style.

anywho, R had to get the eff outta dodge, bc he totally shot T! J faked her own death so she could escape and be with R, but R's homey walked in on the funeral and mizundaztoooooood the whole trick! he went and peeped the news to R in the desert and R flipped his shit. omg! he TOTALLY FLIPPED. (oh, and p.s., there was a letter from the priest who was in on the scheme and R never got it because DHL effed up! shiiiit!)

he went back to town and found her in the crypt, dead (even though she was just fake poisoned and about to wake up any second), and tried to get some more of dat and made out with her (ew.). but then he decided to off himself anyway, and drank some poison that he had bought from this dude. she woke up right then, obvs, saw him dying, cried, tried to get some poison from his mouth, failed, and shot herself all over R. totes tragedy.